Elves and how to identify them

[frill]

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Elves and howe to ydentify þem
An field guidde

-​

Byyond þe poynted ears and sickly pallor þe elf hað manie attributes þat are far more difficult to hide. Alþough þey are prone to takyng to a jute cap or ooþer means of coveryng þeir tapered ears, þeir faces are gaunt and þynner, bones far more pronounced; þeir cheekbones, chyns and browe ridges protrude far more visibly þan þat of a human due to þeir diet byyng exclusively oon of pyne-nuts and candies.

Yf spottyng an elf, oon must consider þe followyng factors;

Doon þy eat dwed, humans, or þeir own peple?

It ys known yn times of famyne or warre for an elf to engage yn cannibalism, wið some engagyng yn þis for recreation or sport.

Ys þe person yn question protective of trees or animals? are þey protective of trees or animals to þe poynt of bloody fanaticism?

Þe elven man wynnows yn payn yf witnessyng a tree or animal mistreated. Take a sappyng tap to a tree-trunk and watch þem wryggle. Þys ys a guaranteed test of an elf’s presence.

Are þey dressed modestly?

Elves are apt to wear long robes wið swaþes of visible skyn, þeir hair often lengþened to þeir shoulders or longer. Adornyng þemselves wið jewellery and ooðer objects of art to attract a suitable mate, þey remove þemselves from þe realms of decency to doon so. Þys yncludes þe female elves.

Ys his face paynted?

Manie elves smear þeir face wið make-up to yntimidate þeir foes yn battle, muche howe a human wolde wear armour wið embellishments.

Doon þey knowe howe to werk metal?

Þe markets of Calendale and byyond are at times flooded wiþ cheap yron ymports from þe elven lands. þese crumble under pressure, lackyng þe temperyng and quenchyng þat þe yonge boy-blacksmið wolde knowe were þe basic steps of forgyng. Should þe see a garish and decorative weapon on youre quarry, test it for yts durability and ductility. Yf it were to break at þe first strike, or not stand at par wið youre traynyng-sword, ye possess a vanity sword of an elven warrior.

Ys he childishly, excessively optimistic?

Þe elf ys known to age far longer þan a human, reachyng þe mentality of a twenty year-old human yn his fiftieð year. Should ye meet a creature þat ys excessively childish and byamyng wið ynfantile glee, consider elven blood yn þeir veyns.

 

[kipps]

Dragutin makes sure to keep a copy of this work in his pocket, it is after all quite useful to know how to identify an elf!

 

[Dog]

Aldric del riviere smiles widely, now having a guide to hunt down elves. “Finally! I can now kill elves! Thank you!”

 

[Swifty]

Vorion Isilros simply rolls his eyes as he tosses the missive into his fireplace, he would then fall asleep dreaming of eating humans!

 

[Lleanna]

Lephilia Isilros remained silent as she read through the 'guide', a sigh escaped her lips upon finishing. She thought on how she hasn't even eaten meat in over a century, let alone other living people. "Suppose, nothing to do about this.. Surely they'll each learn someday of these false assumptions."

 

[ephi]

Let free from the grasp of the Vlachian fort just mere hours before finding one of these missives, Zetari Reykian shivers. Though the words upon the pages are quite indecipherable, she picks it up to take home and read anyways.

 

[AdventureApollo]

Nomad Andrei would quietly observe the guide while rewriting it in generic common and only uttering only one thing, "Hrm." He returns to his home and hands his copy of the guide to his Nomad brethren in silence.

 

[wootdahnoot]

Lixis is amazed that the human brains actually need this
"Right, this is what we call, corpsemen brain."​

 

[MinaGobbler]

[While this is controversial, its good rp and I appreciate it. +1]

Stefan reads the book, before turning to Johannes. "Sometimes Ae wish Ae never knew how to read at all."

 

[Ryanark]

Mildþryð had a quick chuckle whilst reading the guide because he was already an expert at spotting elves. "S'pose the other lads could make use of this."

 

[ephi]

Nomad Andrei would quietly observe the guide while rewriting it in generic common and only uttering only one thing, "Hrm." He returns to his home and hands his copy of the guide to his Nomad brethren in silence.

Nomad Alannia seems rather shocked at this missive, taking it from Andrei with wide eyes. She peruses the entire copy, before quickly handing it back to her Nomad friend. Not a word is uttered, but the expression on the Elvish Nomad’s face is enough to speak what she is thinking.

 

[Xaedric]

Xion's gaze lowered to meet a trampled missive of the same sort - lowering to pick it with a clear semblance of curiosity strewn across his visage, merely noting "Hm - Never 'ad elf before - Ah'll be sure tuh try it." Thereafter he cast the parchment against the flooring, departing from wherever it is he was.

 

[Lionfiles]

Katerina is still in prison and cannot read the paper.

 

[_Tepes]

The elfess's golden eyes scanned over the parchment she had happened upon. One could instantly tell by the language used and spelling that a human had written this paper. She sighed and thought about how not long ago she had cared little for human perception, their opinions often childish and not worthwhile, but today she had a spark of curiosity and decided to continue reading the document.

Upon finishing the document she could not help but laugh aloud, something that seemed to startle the crow resting on a perch in the office. "Humans certainly never do change. Despite physically aging, they rarely age in terms of wisdom." Her eyes hovered over the comment about elves eating their own kind resulting in a smile. "They got the part about 'enjoying the flesh' of our kin wrong, but I certainly do enjoy their blood.....almost as much as I enjoy human blood." The vampiress laughed once more before lowering the parchment into a candle flame, allowing it to slowly burn away, a warm yet voracious smile on her face. "Oh well, time for supper."

 

[LeonFrostfire]

Leon frowned as he looked over the parchment, tilting his as he gradually gathered the gist its contents. He smiled and chuckled, "Oh, how sweet. It's wonderful of these people to let their children publish their imaginings. Truly vivid imaginings at that."

 

[Totalore]

Vakre Bloodaxe squinted at the wrinkled paper, formerly having been stuck in dirt; the paper had all kinds of marks due to it.
"Ain t'at easier ta jus' look at t'eir big ol' ears? Nay, noses?"

 

[Darken]

Ilus Athalos would be looking at the poster, once he started to read what the writer wrote. He had a stroke trying to read anything, except he understood a few words such as: paynted, elves, modestly, humans, and a few more.

Mr. Athalos realized that this poster was up to identify elves, he chuckled but yet proceeded to talk to himself about the poster - "Can't they simply look at their ears? I am not encouraging to eat elves, but I might try one." - He said, before walking away from the poster that was nailed onto the wall.

 

[Sultan_Mogroka]

Claps "Well dome"

 

[Gaelic]

". . ."